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Saturday, November 10, 2007

Revisiting old states of mind


Sometimes it's interesting to do a little mental archaeology and uncover the intellectual relics from my past. In digging through my old poems, I found the following verse that certainly bears the hallmark of my contradictory personality.

If the time stamp on the electronic file is accurate, I wrote it back in 1994. I don't know what the inspiration for it was, and I've disassociated myself from that past consciousness pretty well. Obviously, I wasn't residing in a cheery place back then, but it ends on a hopeful little note.

At least it's short and simply structured, so you won't have to endure it for very long ...

Not Endure
by Francis Scudellari

Not endure
enduring,
but undo
in doing,
but be by
not being.
Impatient,
patient faith.
Renewed faith.
Begin too,
to end pain,
end this life,
and bring death,
renewed life
after death.
Struggle, peace.
Work then rest.
Rest to dream.
Dream to act.
Act to live.
Live to say
"No more No."

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Excellent Francis. I love the structure and flow. Well done. You should do more.
~JD

Francis Scudellari said...

Thanks JD. I appreciate it. I think I have a much better sense of what I'm doing now than when I wrote it, but I'm avoiding the urge to tinker with old stuff. I'm discovering that my lack of commitment to writing before may have been a defense mechanism. The blog is helping me to be better about that, but I still need more discipline to write regularly.

ndpthepoetress Jean Michelle Culp said...

Aren’t we all merely a mix of contradictory personality :)

I admire the way you write Francis. Even if your piercing words of pain in this poem - digs into my heart with familiarity. How many times have we died to be revived to live again, anew. Lessons learned, bridges burned. Thank the Universe for shovels - a tool to reap from the old and plant seeds toward a better future full of life among the living.

Francis Scudellari said...

Hi Jeane,
I think your analysis is much more eloquent than my original poem :).