As the metaphorical bells tolled in the year 2009 the other night, I greeted the man-made demarcation of a new planetary cycle with the usual mixture of hope and anxiety.
There was the hope that individually, and as a society, we'll find our footing in a new, positive direction this year. This optimism was of course beset by the well-found fear of falling into the previous patterns of self-defeating missteps and backsliding.
As my last poem likely indicated, I've been feeling a bit painted into a corner lately. It was a trap I set for myself, but with the silver lining of a forced reckoning. There's nowhere to go but up, and I'll need to sprout wings to get there. The good news is, I feel the nubs now pushing their way out through my shoulder blades.
I spent most of New Year's Day in deep meditation and emerged with a fixed resolve, and a clearer sense of purpose. One way or another, I can't finish 2009 the way I'm starting it and I'm dedicating myself to entering 2010 from a better place.
The details of that narrative arc are yet to be determined, but I'm finally giving up on the previously imagined ending of a Deus Ex Machina hand reaching down to rescue me from above. It's time for me, and us, to recognize and nurture the seeds of change growing from within.