This poem evolved quite a bit over the course of the past few weeks. Two of its lines were taken from recent drawings: Thin-Fingered Dawn and Aura Spilling. The original working title was "Mr. Sunshine," but it and the overall mood moved away from my first too-personally indulgent impulses to something much more lyrical — at least I hope so.
by Francis Scudellari
His early, yellow years
marked by a restless gaze
this thin-fingered dawn that
passing quickly, gently
taps so many strangers
shoulders clad in new day's
rosy hope, his own vague
wishing deep-pocket tucked
close to a youthful heart:
one face returns the smile
His middle, muddy days
ever-creasing, hands held
up to blue-straining eyes
a pale, tulip-cup cap
to direct his wheeled mind
that sprays silver droplets
into shadowy nooks
a knobbed spigot of light
he endlessly spins to
capture the dust-mote dance
His dying, desert hours
golden aura spilling
from a low, lone-struck wound
his self-inflicted flow
that forms three-pronged puddle
that slow-spreads, swallowing
the too-loved particles
long ago cast, outward
waving spores to carry
this infecting sweetness
9 comments:
The oerfect response to a comment I read testerday: that poetry should not contain many adjectives! A fine post.
I love, love, love this!!!
Awesome poetry. Kudos to you Francis.
I can't even pretend to understand what this is about, but I love the imagery in it anyway.
@Dave I think it would be hard for me to write a poem with few adjectives, but it might be worth a try just to see how it turns out. I'm glad you liked this.
@Angel Thanks!
@Jena Your kudos are always very appreciated :).
@Catherine I don't know that I can even clearly explain what it's about :). I started with a particular meaning, but it got transformed as the imagery took over.
"His early, yellow years
marked by a restless gaze
this thin-fingered dawn that
passing quickly, gently
taps so many strangers
shoulders"
Masterful. Rarely have I been so impressed by your poetry. This is just gorgeous stuff, Francis; really, well done.
@Fiendish You'll make me blush with praise like that :). I really like how this one turned out too. I just hope I can maintain that level of writing going forward.
Nice poem. Keep it up.
@Dyosah Thanks ... I'll do my best. It's always a challenge to follow up success :).
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