Slightly late, here's this week's poem. I'd normally explain the particulars of the inspiration, but I think that might skew the reading of it. Let's just say that too much time spent alone in an apartment can affect the mind in strange ways.
Knitting Wheel
by Francis Scudellari
My minded eyes
reluctant too
slip
out of focus
into slumbers
rise
with their numbing
blue, inward rush
hang
on half-hearted
dusty, dull blades
pull
me up, against
a ceiling's cut
light
knitting wheel rays
spinning golden
thread
to make, a sleeve
to warm, a chilled
hand
white fingers, that
beckon, icy
crawl
my spine, trip on
my dreaming, a-
spark
these mindful eyes
reluctant a-
gain
let go, focus
sharpen, thought a-
wake
blurry thresholds
slow-fading, a-
way
20 comments:
The mind seems to be working fine! Enjoyed the poem very much.
I really liked this one; it's one of your best, I think.
I like the positive way that your poems always end. It's an awesome poem. One of your bests,but they're all good. Cheers.
Btw, the shipping of the shirt is indeed expensive, and I haven't seen one for overseas.
That was lovely - maybe cooped up alone in an apartment has it uses.
@Dave Thanks! It's definitely working, just with a bit of strangeness tossed into the mix.
@Jane Thanks, it's good to be getting better rather than worse :).
@Jena You definitely flatter me with the constant praise :). I paid $5 for the slowest shipping method. I think if you buy more than one shirt, the cost per shirt to ship is less ... although I'm not sure about that. International shipping is definitely a problem.
@Cooper It definitely has it's uses when it's zero out :).
Francis, the strangeness definitely adds to the beauty. And I was fascinated by this structure, which seemed so right.
Read it several times and what I enjoyed most is the staggered, asymmetrical rhythm--like a winding staircase between dream and awake.
Are you a musician? I'm a jazz guitarist really into asymmetry, angular movement, odd staggered groupings of 3,4,5,7 and 11. If you're not, you probably should be.
hi friend!! U have a very cool site here....would U mind if we exchange links? ^_^
@Jakill I'm very glad you said that about the structure. I can't explain exactly how I arrive at the line lengths/rhythms that I do, but I don't get very far until I find the pattern that fits the idea. I've got two poems in-process right now that are still trying to find their proper shape.
@Bobby That's interesting that you mention the spiral staircase. It was actually inspired by letting my eyes go in and out of focus while watching a ceiling fan spin around, and the strange lighting effects it produced ... I tried to relate that to falling in and out of drowsiness. I'm actually not a musician, although I've always wished I was. I'd love to experiment with rhythms on a drum set some time.
@Gil I'm always open to link exchanges.
Solitude seems to be necessary to creativity, and it has apparently moved you to produce some good stuff!
The poem reads very well, in my opinion. :)
Thank you dropping on the Educated Whore website.
http://www.educatedwhore.com
Hi there... want to change your favicon? find out how.. Have a nice tuesday!
Excellent job Francis! As I've always said, you have a uniqueness with the work you produce that is truly bordering on the genius.
I think it's been mentioned that your structure is truly fascinating and works extremely well with your introspective observances that you write about.
Really lovely.
Interesting structure. If you want some constructive criticism, you might reconsider "my spine, tingle" - unlike the rest of the poem, it's been said before and it reads slightly less sharp than everything else.
Otherwise, great work.
it was worth the wait ..solitude has it's place at least for a time
I really like what you did with the lines in this one. Very nice.
Oh, and I have a blog award for you here.
@Lynda Thanks, but sometimes I'd like to sacrifice some solitude even if it does hamper my creativity :).
@Justin I'm always happy to reciprocate drops :).
@Hapi Thanks for the tip.
@JD As you know, the appreciation is very mutual.
@LK Thanks so much!
@Fiendish Constructive criticism is always welcome and I agree with you about the too obvious word choice. I'll give it a second thought, but it may require me to change a couple lines.
@Confused It's definitely goes hand in hand with the recent winter weather.
@Daisy Thanks for the award and the compliment! I think I've gotten that one before (I'm bad at those things), but it's still very appreciated.
@Fiendish I just changed the wording slightly, let me know if you think it's improved
Happy Wednesday! Bloghoppin' here... Hey, I have an interesting tutorial for you that I have written myself. It is about adding Adsense on your Single Post in XML template. I hope you'll like it! God Bless you!
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