they duel to woo her,
a far-glowing mistress,
with their neon spins
and flash-bulb reels
that burn untempered torches
against the black-lit night.
The first flings his golden lines,
tracing over-stated claims
to crowned velocities.
The next, more simply,
rolls a sapphire eye
in an unblinking hope
of whirled persuasion.
All the while above,
their cratered princess,
attracted to much more
subtly fired revolutions,
looks down in yellowed yawns,
unimpressed at their boasting
a carnival's valor.
— Francis Scudellari
This poem is written in response to Read Write Prompt #98: Whee! at Read Write Poem. The challenge was to use a photo prompt (click the link to see the image), which I interpreted in my usual strange way.
8 comments:
Francis, I enjoyed the way you personified the carnival rides as rivals for the moon's amorous attentions. Clever! And, of course, the moon, being the moon, only yawns at the carryings-on.
To me you've captured the pointlessness of it all here. Excellently done.
The thought of man's creations being nothing compared to the moon, I loved that idea!
from Therese L. Broderick -- I love the idea of courtship as carnival -- the courtship of two men for one woman, but also the courtship of mankind for sky goddesses. Perhaps it is futile for mankind and its gadgets to try to outshine the natural moon, but there IS, as well, a noble kind of "valor" to those strenuous efforts. I love the rich sound of the title "Carnival Valor" -- the a, the r, the v, the l -- brilliant!
Francis, when I first read this poem an artist popped into my mind, Salvador Dali. I imagined the description of a Dali painting of carnival rides on a bleak moon lite landscape. A surreal prospect. Any time someone can write a poem that turns on the light of memory or challenge of recognition, it truly holds validity in the words written. Thanks for a Dali moment.
Regards,
DH
something popped into my mind also....PNE Vancouver..me and my best?? friend going head to head for the attention of the sweet princess we both courted...and spend all our money on her...thanks for sharing this...nicely done
An elegant response to a banal topic.
I like the yellow yawning princess
...unimpressed and a rolling
sapphire blue eye.Well done Francis.
An unexpected take on a common enough sight. The language here flows well, and in short space tells a tale of some breadth. Good images, well told!
Thanks for the story!
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