up too early
and riding low,
he bursts in,
jumping through twin
abandoned panes
to scamper on
a delighted
ceiling, its worth
in crumbled brick.
He skips past kicked
debris, the tagged
walls, he'll now mimic,
dropping down,
bald knees balanced
on fallen pipes
to playful paint
his hued likeness:
a glitter gold face,
speech bubble
attached and crooning
discordant
song of wintry
light, but no heat.
— Francis Scudellari
This poem is written in response to Read Write Prompt #107: lighting the way at Read Write Poem. This was a photo prompt using the image Shotgun Blast by Shane Gorski.
15 comments:
I love the playful quality of the sun in this poem, Francis: mischievous, jumping, scampering, skipping, and playful, with a glitter-gold face. Delightful!
(Like Paul said), A very light and buoyant poem, and playful, yes. Yet then for all that ease and swiftness of reading, comes the end, and so lightly yet, that question or statement repeated, "Light but no heat", and this induces a pause to reflect, consider something more than first seemed. Nicely done Francis.
You've truly animated the sun in this.
Definitely not what I expected from the picture and the title, but you make the playful tone work.
Very unique and imaginative idea! The sun described quite impish...I really enjoyed it.
I enjoyed the dance of the sunlight throughout the poem. You created a wonderful rhythm. I hope the coming year dances through your life as deftly and with the same radiance as the sun in your poem, Francis. Have a happy one! =D
I like your old sun's bald knees ballanced on the pipes. We winter folks do need to be silly with care.
oh, I love that you saw the sun as a mischievous old man -- up too early, painting on bald knees!
just fantastic images here, Francis!
and a happy 2010 to you, too!
I love that the sun is low -riding -it's a unique way to paint the image with words.
I love this! The playfulness of the sun and the readily recognizable light without heat in the low riding sun. Wonderfully enjoyable!
The playful sun came to Bakersfield today and shown on me as I wrote my response to this prompt. Gorgeous words, gorgeous. Love love love it.
" A mischievous sun,
up too early
and riding low,
he bursts in,
jumping through twin
abandoned panes"
THis first stanza really pulls the reader into the poem. I liked the direction you took & the joyfulness of this poem.
-Roberta
I can almost see him scampering! I love the tone - great fun!
I like where you went with this poem Francis...thanks for sharing
I love the energy that pulls us from one stanza to the next. This is a very spry poem.
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