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Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Crackling

Her sigh rends his why
opens dark torrents, she nips
with a crackling glare

(for the Haiku Bones prompt: Electrifying)

And here's an alternate version, which I tweeted and got positive feedback on:

Her sigh rends the sky
followed by wordy torrents
then a crackling glare

Feel free to cast your vote in the comments...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow! In your 3 lines, you've said it all!

Yousei Hime said...

I really like them both! Thank you for sharing them.

Nancy Bea said...

These are great! Crackling with electricity!

Francis Scudellari said...

@Smita Not quite all, but thanks :).

@YouSei Thanks for the visit!

@Nancy Thanks, I'll be back for next weeks prompt.

Artist Victoria O'Neill said...

enjoyed both haikus......great job!

Cassiopeia Rises said...

Nice work on both of them.


Melanie