This poem is a bit of an experiment, and also a kind of a mental break for me. I hope the playfulness comes across...
Spacetime becomes molasses
By Francis Scudellari
Her words, I love you, dropped
a red marble planet
thumb-shot and rolling ... smack-
dab in my middle path
slow-dragging spacetime down
with its wavy weight's pull
the stop-motion churning
and turning it viscous
greenish yellow-green goop
that oozes round my legs
accordion wobbly
with each fractal footfall
till my heart-thickened thoughts
relatively rebound
and sling-shot, this pupil's
dilation speeds ahead
to future visions of
happiness densely packed
in a singular whole's
matter-slurping moment
10 comments:
A lot of "space" words. It worked well!
slurped made me imagine a long tongue and and an ice cream cone..yummy..lol...
Loved it! Great word picture. It must be a memory. Else you have a tremendous imagination.
@Zorlone Thanks ... I was preoccupied with the subject of spacetime and relativity when I wrote it.
@Jena It doesn't take much to get me to think about ice cream... but I like it better in warmer weather.
@SecondaryRoads This one was pure imagination... colored by a bit of hope :).
I hope to make a poem as imaginative as yours... let's see, since i'm a doctor, i will be using medical terms. LOL
valecula rhymes with? uh... diverticula?
herpangina rhymes with? uhm... angina?
maybe it will work! thanks francis!
Good poem. Nice experiment. I like the way you use your words.
Looks like anti-poetry to me a specific style which uses a non-traditional structure to it. I like it.
@Zorlone That's why I avoid rhyming schemes :)
@Stormee Thank you... I appreciate the kind words.
@BC I'm definitely all about the non-traditional structures :P
Haven't gotten to comment in awhile but I still read your stuff and view our work all the time. The creativity is still there possible more vivid these days ti seems.
@Cooper Thanks... as long as I keep at it and maintain some sort of rhythm things go pretty well. It's just hard sometimes to set aside the time with other things going on. No worries about not commenting, I've been visiting in silence the past couple months too.
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