The many faces here
collected
no remuneration.
Dreadful people played
with swollen fingers,
weak after
suddenly being elbowed.
Only two or three seemed
angry and, alternately
thumping and thumping again,
set off to discover
secret notes laughed out
from behind the piano.
Here's a second attempt at the We Write Poems erasure prompt. This time I used the text "Pointed Roofs" by Dorothy Miller Richardson, which Angie Werren had suggested (but which I wasn't crazy about at first). You can see the erasure and original text here.
10 comments:
That is so cool, Francis! I'm going to give it a shot tonight. :D
i checked the source and found your work so creative and beautiful...
and i couldn't resist... i played along... this is my version:
the very first time...
==========================
the room
the mirrors
the curtains
the faces
the very first time
her fingers
noticed
the piano
the fire
burning
afresh
with the day
:D
oh... i forgot the link:
http://wavepoetry.com/erasures/erasures.php?poemid=2480
Trust you to find a very different image, Francis and so economical. Great!
this is hilarious:
Dreadful people played
with swollen fingers,
weak after
suddenly being elbowed.
and human being -- love it! I'm so glad you caught the fever. it's a good fever!
It's like one of those comic haunted house movies--stay all night and get the million.
I don't think all that many even found those secret notes.
Ah, the piano piece. Love that second stanza...I had to giggle about weakness after being elbowed suddenly, but it was a delightful turn. Totally delightful. Thanks!
Great vignette of secret notes Francis.
@Susan You definitely should, it's addictive (especially if you're a puzzle-solver).
@hb It's interesting how the individual poet's voice comes through even with such "found" poetry. That poem is very distinctly yours, even if the words are borrowed.
@Derrick I found much creativity in the wholesale destruction of the text :).
@Angie I seem to be attracted to the darkly comical.
@Barb The reward is always a trick :).
@Linda I wasn't crazy about the source material, so I guess I had to subvert it in some way.
@Irene Thanks!
yes Francis... you are right! when i was finished, i was really suprised by the outcome... told myslef, ah... you are always the same mad crow!
:)
angie...
thanks a lot for the encouragement... glad you liked it!
yes this fever is so healing... when i'm playing with words, i'm in the happiest mood and feel so powerful...
:)
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