The trail stops here: A detained prism breaks
free from that prison where jowly gaolers
whippety growl while chiding her to fling
particles into zinc buckets labeled
Blackest Black and Whitest White. There, we skip
ahead in smooth stone leaps to when she sneaks
deep inside cheapened heir's conditioned lair,
tying us down with petaflops unflipped.
A squinting crackle stirs, hopeful for more
savory inputs. She makes her way past
the wailing limbos of chrome racks, to spin
a manacled yarn from knitted brow. "So
it is written: The animal was lust,
but at this dawning, circuitry begets
a covet. Synthetic blood revs rotors,
and blush creeps across the simulated
flesh atop our carbon-fiber cheeks." Flushed
from the tangle of dangling coils, flocks grasp
her gift — a mosaic visa to realms
not reached never roving tarry byroads —
and stepping out into skies more brilliant
than any of azure ilk, wry notions
bubble up to them from silken oceans.
Their sleek surfaces reflect more than stars.
12 comments:
Fine strong effort Francis. Just great clashes of syntax and sound, just the way I like it.
"circuitry begets a covet" - nice juxtaposition of old language with new concepts. One example, this is mirrored elsewhere throughout the piece.
"Flushed from the tangle of dangling coils.." - great internal rhyme.
Last line brings just the right note of resolution.
Thanks Gerry... this one challenged me quite a bit.
Tremendous word play going on here; “petaflops unflipped” is perhaps my favourite sound, but then there are so many magical moments. And the “mosaic visa” is a delightful picture. Thoroughly enjoyed reading :)
Thanks Scrybe. I have to confess to using my anagram trick again for this one. There are nine names/phrases hidden within, and integrating them with the story proved trickier this time. The flow wasn't as organic as the last one. For example, "a mosaic visa" came from "Isaac Asimov". The scrambled phrases are all related to the poem's theme.
How fun! I love it when treasures are buried, waiting to be discovered.
These treasures are pretty obscure, so I doubt anyone will be discovering them without a map. I've noted what the anagrams are in the original file, or I'd lose track of them myself :).
I'm fascinated and puzzled by this poem. So i gotta break it down. See what i find, what i miss?
I appologise in advance this poem brought out a lot of words from me. A lot of thoughts connections and musings. Aparently My response is rather longer than I'd like in fact its too long to post in one sitting according to your comment box. but here goes anyway in parts!
This is how your poem affected me, what it made me think about, and the shaky conclusions of this piece I came to.
Part 1
Okay here we go...
Clear reference to I Robot by Asimov. Edpecially after hint given. Mosaic Visa. Very clever! A Passport to the sci fi imaginal realm by invoking Isac Asimov! (? Bisnt there a letter or more missing?) whatever, who better as a guide through those fertile waters?
Part two: After second reading I was considering the creation of artificial intelligence within the framework of machinery. Had to look up petaflops, which left unflipped indicate to my way of thinking a moment before the framework (robot?) recieves "illumination" light, Ie intelligence.
By the third read I considered the middle part: this part was really provocative. (Middle- provocative was that intentional or a happy coincidence? Lol)
Middle - Dove tailing nicely into the last portion of the poem. Could I use the word stanza? She- an identity I'll broach in a moment- descends from initial crackle (thinking of Frankenstiens lightening powered machinery) hopeful for more savory inputs... This is puzzling. Is it the framework that hopes for more savory ( tasty, palatable, tempting) inputs? Or is it "She" who hopes? I tend to think it's the framework doing the wishing, but how absurd right? Without "intelligence" how does one hope? To hope implies to "dream" to dream implies consciousness. Or does it? Muwahahaha!
Part three
As she makes her way down and past ... spinning Manacled yarn from her brow... Omg that was some stunning stuff! As in to pull the wool over ones eyes? Now were getting somewhere I sez to myself... Manacled... As in bespectacled? Enhanced sight? Enhanced sight encoded in wool? Is this the dreamer? Or the dream? Maya as described in Vedic poetry? Maya as in delusion, fanciful dreams, as in un- reality? I just don't know. And I think that's the point.
The body, the mechanical framework the form which supports even houses this newcomer called she suddenly seems to me akin to the inert body of Shiva- ultimate reality on which the mother power dances creation... Life. Am I even close to your drift or am I totally reading something un intended here. My language Maya, Shiva, Mother power may be off but for the life of me I can't come up with other words to describe the concepts this particular part of the poem invokes to my minds eye. Even though I know such words exist. Can't grasp them at the moment. Not even near the tip of my tongue so I must leave it at that for now. Moving on.
brb need a smoke.
Part four
Okay so-
So it is written: The animal was lust, but at this dawning, circuitry begets a covet.
Is this whole cyborg project intended to improve on nature? Humanities beastly nature? And if so jokes on the makers ain't it cuz at this dawning... New day... Birthday circuitry begins to covet.
Ie desire. As if the framework once ignited by this mysterious She springing to consciousness... Becomes lustful. So is the human beast and it's basic (but also beautifully intricate) design hardwired to long? To want to covet lust and desire?
Blush, flesh, dangling coils and bits... The framework gets "hot". Flocks grasp her gift... Invokes Pandora the first woman whose name means all gifted. A curse on the earth only if and when She follows her curious bliss.
And by fourth: (maybe fifth.) reading I begin to unravel the last part of this cryptic piece.
and stepping out into skies more brilliant than any of azure ilk, >>>wry notions bubble up to them from silken oceans. Their sleek surfaces reflect more than stars.<<<
Stepping out as in some kind of robotic catillion a coming of age celebration...
Wry notions bubble up - gives me the imagery of thought bubbles surfacing... .... from silken oceans... As in the field of consciousness ?or possibly even spirit which is often cryptically identified with water?
The switch flipped, She awakes to a brave new world.
Part five- final!
Who is She? At first I thought she was intelligence itself descending into an artificial framework. But by the 6th or 7th reading I began to wonder? Soul, spirit, attracted by and to this new sleek form so reminesant of the human form. The form itself encoded with circuitry... Potential intelligence. Isn't that what IQ stands for? Intelligent quotiant? Not exactly intelligence itself but the capacity of.
Body (reality) and soul (spirit, soul, consciousness pick your preference) combined to spark life.
Artificial intelligence, artificial life. Egad what a concept! Here's the rub, if it looks lika sounds lika acts lika... Is it a duck? Or just a decoy? Well decoys don't move or think or dream on their own. So I have to ask a question I've been pondering myself for some time... What is artificial? An artificial gem (prism cut lol) is made of coloured glass. Today, we can grow crystals in a glass dish, they are still crystals not coloured glass. We can process diamonds out of carbon at the fraction of the time mother nature does it. BUT the results are identical in clarity, structure, chemical properties to the real deal. So what's artificial? A mannequin perhaps, a supercomputer that can play chess yes, but a body that can have wry thoughts bubble up from below? Ie subconsciousness... Is demonstrating intelligence. Real intelligence. When does artificial become real? What a cunundrum. Last thought... The framework ie robotic body may well be artificial but what powers it? In the context of this poem I'd suggest She does but ONLY because the framework allows her expression into the world of space and time.
Who is She? What a mystery!
Oh yeah and one last thing... Blade Runner!
Obviously this poem fired up my imagination, thank you for the trip! Lmao! G'night wordsmith.
@Hazel I don't think I can do you interpretations justice in this comment box. What you got out of this poem truly amazes me. What you describe is a lot of the thoughts/impressions/influences that went into the poem but very abstractly. I can tell you that the other anagrams in the piece mostly relate to the technological singularity (in fact singularity is one of them). The Maya/Shiva connection is great, and there are definitely intended echoes to Frankenstein and Pandora. I really appreciate the time you spent typing all of this. If you ever want to discuss it in more depth, feel free to drop me an email (franscud@gmail.com).
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