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Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Stuck in a mood as ugly as it seems

Sometimes our moods are as capricious as Chicago's summer weather; shifting at a moment's notice from black storm clouds to warm sunshine. Other times, there are autumnal fronts that squat over us for many days before they finally dissipate.

Predicting when these changes will arrive and depart is as difficult as dependably forecasting meteorological systems. Probing their causes is equally inscrutable, especially for we amateurs, but that won't stop me from speculating.

Some of us with a supernatural bent may blame these funks on external forces. Perhaps blackguard spirits who have hijacked our soul, like a virus exploiting an opening made when our emotional defenses wear down. Perhaps we're influenced by the movement of the stars, and the music of the spheres has shifted from a lively lilt to a deathlike dirge.

We rationalists, however, are more likely to look to the internal affects of body, mind and heart. Maybe we've turned blue from ill chosen food or drink indulged in a misplaced desire for short term satisfaction. Maybe our thoughts are stretched too thin by worries over family or friends, or grown too ponderous from the weight of shadowy memory or glaring anticipation. It could be our chest has taken a beating from society's many sadnesses; the pulsating images of illness, hunger and poverty.

No matter what the cause or prognosis for eventual cure, none of us are pleasant to be around when the darkness descends. At war with god, others or self, it's best to steer clear of those following a tumultuous course, and seek out the shelter of the nearest inlet until the pacified ocean returns. If it's a mood as ugly as it seems, those boats lifted by it may get overturned.

As Ugly As I Seem
by The White Stripes

I am as ugly as I seem
Worse than all your dreams
Could ever make me out to be
And it makes me want to scream
When it's Halloween
And the kids are laughing
The rogue is a bank he's never broke
But worth as much as a joke that no one is laughing at

Can you believe some things are not
Appealing and there's a spot
On the ceiling of my childhood bedroom
And of these dreams that you can't imagine
But none of them match the vision
That you have decided for me

You want to take away from me
Things that are mine and it's not your right
I'll bet you wouldn't expect a fight, oh
Can it be that I don't want what you want?
And the only thing I could care for
Is a place in a home that is safe and warm
Safe and warm, safe and warm, safe and warm
Safe and warm.

Judge yourself if you feel the need
Just let me alone to be
In search of the truth myself
There is a drop of blood on the ground
And it seems to me that it's not my kind
And I can't be sure if it's yours or mine

I am as ugly as I seem
Worse than all your dreams
Could ever make me
Could ever make me
Could ever make me
Could ever make me
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