balcony to sermonize between bites of fruit.
His musty words cast out, over
an impoverished lot, its multitudes lost
among clumps of grass, weed and clover.
This day's gospel topic: the waiting-to-be
attitudes of a conformist flock he extols
from their meeker paths in vague hope
to inherit a less unkempt earth.
Black rail receiving the leaned weight
of narrow hips, this mock Jesus extends only
one arm, and with graceful arc tosses
a twice-bitten plum, to bounce and roll
where his disciples might some day stand.
Till that coming time, when craned necks await
his offerings to remedy sleeping hungers,
these peels, husks and wrappers of half-eaten
confections, his pittances, will lay in stead,
as he withdraws from reverie's limelight,
to a kitchen well-stocked with sweetness to impart.
— Francis Scudellari
This poem is written in response to Read Write Prompt #92: Word Gems at Read Write Poem. The 13 words from the challenge are italicized to ease their spotting.
19 comments:
Nice one. I like the sermonizing between bites of fruit. I did a pretender, too. Must be the scofflaw influence.
Love the irony in the title...
after reading the title...i dug right in.....nicely done I enjoyed
You did an excellent job with the words here.
Hi Francis,
A wonderful confection itself. I love the "kitchen well-stocked with sweetness to impart."
BTW thanks for following. I hope you won't be disappointed!
Ooooh! Nice job! I love how you incorporated the words into your narrative.
-Nicole
From Therese B. at RWP -- The combination of fruit/plum/peel imagery and savior imagery is ingenious: combining Garden of Eden temptation with tempting, but false, promises of salvation.
"...tosses
a twice-bitten plum, to bounce and roll
where his disciples might some day stand."
Nice detail, the words cast out like the fruit. Enjoyed reading, thanks.
I like the contrast between the high tone and elegant rhythm and the buffoonish actions of the "scofflaw", a great ironic word to use with a pretender, given Christ's status as both god and executed "criminal."
Very good use of the offered words, I very much enjoyed your take...
interesting idea - I like the third stanza very much, the tossing of something sweet yet used, a relic.
I love the way the Wordle words fit so descriptively into the themes in your poem. I enjoyed reading it. Thank you.
I absolutely love the idea of a scofflaw Christ; it's quite accurate, really, though different from so much of what is believed.
An enjoyable read - much to savor in this.
I really like the vivid image of the figure leaning against the railing.
Great title!
for a pittance, you buy that confection
There's something about the elegant and lofty tone of the poem and the scruffiness of its protagonist that draws me in. It's as if we are reading how he perceives himself.
fantastic, Francis!
love 'scofflaw Christ' -- and how all the images work so well together. you fit the words in so well!
@Briarcat The influence of scofflaws should not be underestimated ;)
@Amulya The title and opening phrase jumped to mind immediately upon seeing this week's wordle list.
@Wayne I'm glad you enjoyed it.
@Anthony Thanks so much.
@Derrick I'm glad the ending worked well for you. No disappointment here.
@Nicole I found the words for this week's prompt went really well together, so it was easy to fit them in the narrative.
@Therese Any promises of spiritual salvation are going to be false aren't they? I can be a bit of a religious cynic :)
@Marie I really liked the plum image too... I'm glad that was in the list.
@David Yes, exactly. Christ was himself a scofflaw. Although this fellow is certainly a much lesser light, I wanted to portray his own sense of dignity.
@Cynthia I'm very glad you did.
@dj "Relic" fits perfectly with the religious theme. I might have tossed that one in to boot :).
@Linda Thank you! I tried to let the words suggest a story to me, rather than forcing them into one of my own.
@EK People do tend to reinterpret for their own purposes, but I'm guilty of that too...
@Tumblewords Thanks... I like the idea of savoring words.
@Nathan I'm glad you liked the detail. I was also going for a bit of a play on the word "rail" related to his rant.
@Gautami It all started with the title for this one.
@Pamela That's what I was hoping for :). His own high-mindedness juxtaposed with his silly behavior.
@Angie Thanks :). The wordle prompts are actually my favorite. It's a bit like puzzle solving.
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