His present stands up —a back-turned red,
round-blade shoulders held
high — ribbon proud,
but ever so prone
to be toppled,
heels-over-head twirled
by counting past.
Such flippancy
can't unfix the stare
of his future,
posed cottony white.
Two o'clock looms
less distinct, not less
vulnerable
to per-happy spins.
— Francis Scudellari
This poem is written in response to Read Write Prompt #94 at Read Write Poem. This week's challenge was to take inspiration from Thomas Hawk's photograph "My Angel and My Devil" (above).
15 comments:
My favorites are the last four lines, imagery and sounds are perfectly balanced...
I love what you've done with this!
and I, too, am 'ever so prone / to be toppled'
;)
I love your punning use of the word "flippancy," Francis, and the white opponent representing the "stare of [the] future."
"Simple" works nicely!
_____
Paul Oakley
Blogging his ReadWritePoem poems at
Inner Light, Radiant Life
There's some great images in this. Excellently done.
Hi Francis,
You call this simple but there seems to be a lot within! I too loved the 'cottony white' future staring.
I liked the whole idea of the piece- past, present and future...and the poor little guy (us) not having the control he wants....good!
I like "the stare of his future" - the idea that he is looking through time.
I like the sounds, both consonance and assonance (e.g. "back-turned red, round-blade shoulders held high...ribbon proud, but ever so prone"), and the word play (e.g. flippancy), and your use of time to distinguish between the "stained" present and the "unstained" future, that is undefined and yet still at risk.
I really enjoyed your descriptions and the point and counterpoint you suggest. Thank you for this neatly put together piece, Francis.
simple....and very enjoyable...thanks for sharing this
heels-over-head twirled is such a fine image - it's hard to escape the future or the past... Enjoyed this!
I liked how it played in my mind..
let the red bleed
So many great words and images with this one. I had thought about using this image as a springboard to throw my favorite cultural reference for those over 40....
Please do not bend, fold, staple or otherwise mutilate.
I like your idea much better.
I like your use of "flippancy" here.
frances something about "ribbon proud" bounces well with me. an unusual grouping but none the less executed well. your stanza breaks fit perfectly, the architecture is clean and drinks well with beer. -lawrence
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