By Francis Scudellari
With a swollen tongue,
years saturated in bile,
he rolls and flings frothy tales
tinged rancid yellow,
coating his tight lip's corners
already primed spittle white;
These sing-song rants he chants
in a cursing elocution
over salacious beats
that ride the tangled ribbons
of his long-ago committed
8-track mind, slow unreeling...
gifts to a sore gullet
caked-up with coagulate
black grease, moldy dust;
The spoon-fed, eager gulps
of plastic pablum soothing
tumbled down disturbances—
deep-belly laughs captured
in photographs he clips sun-bleached
to mouthy, drooped lines
stringing together a coarse film
painted electric by diodes
snapped off fragile circuits. Bored,
his motor idles outside
belching exhausted breezes
that strum stained curtains
in a melodic bustle
to hustle clutter on a hitch
and pull the coiled rope, homeward
This poem is written in response to the Read Write Poem Prompt #88, which suggested 14 words to build a verse around. It was a difficult challenge met. If you haven't yet checked out Read Write Poem, it's well worth a look:
20 comments:
Hi Francis. I have been missing your poems while I've been off-line recently. Great to come back and find one right here waiting for me.
@jakill I'm glad you're back and enjoying the poetry :)
hey Francis....very nice..I enjoyed what you wrote
Nicely done. quite a challenge, those 14 words. You'll find mine here.
Well Francis, you came out to play and you played so nicely. This was very descriptive. I read it several times. Please play again.
Donald Harbour
Hello Francis,
Your poem conjures images that never would have entered my mind! I really like the second and last stanzas.
Yes, great images, and I really like the way line length pushes the pace of reading.
Fantastic images and you used every single last word. I tend to cherry pick what I want to use. Sort of like it's a basket of sweets and I am picking out a few that appeal to me.
There was a great cadence to your piece I found enchanting.
The pacing of this poem is really unique - it just keeps pulling the reader along, like the uncoiling of a rope. Well done.
wow, Francis!
I can really see that guy--almost smell him. I think you met that challenge head-on and brilliantly! I have to go back through and find the words, you worked them in so well. And I really love the title and how it is echoed in the form of the poem.
(I'm just not sure I want to see what accompanying drawing you create for this one!!)
I am glad I found your blog.
I like the way it goes.
static of the radio bustles at me
@Wayne Thanks for the comment and the visit.
@Anthony It was a challenge that kept me occupied for a few days :).
@Donald I will definitely be playing again... I enjoyed it very much.
@Derrick Thanks... I have a unique way of picturing the world sometimes :).
@Nathan I've always been partial to shorter line lengths ... I'm not sure why. My recent playing with haiku has certainly cemented that.
@Mark I can be a bit anal about including everything. I'm flattered to have it described as enchanting. Perhaps a bit of a disturbed enchantment :).
@dj I'm very glad to hear you say that about the pacing. I picked the title for that reason, and hoped it would come across.
@Angie Thanks so much for introducing me to RWP... it was great fun. I hope you didn't see/smell him too clearly... he's not so agreeable. And yes, the drawing may be a bit twisted.
@Gautami Glad to have found your blog too... thanks for visiting.
francis your first offering for a writing prompt came out concisely written. aside from our challenge words, your use of vivid, strong language really makes each line pop. enough of the abstract to stay the course and make this an intriguing read. look forward to more. -lawrence
@Lawrence Thanks... I much appreciate the nice feedback. I'll definitely be back for more. It's good to engage with so many great poets.
Lovely use of our 14 words. Thanks for playing along!
Hi Francis, so glad you joined in the RWP prompt!
Agree with prior comments, but especially like the title of "Coiled Rope" as it speaks so imaginatively of the action to come!
from Therese B. at ReadWritePoem--
I like the wonderful sounds in this poem, especially the assonance. I wish I could hear you read it out loud! I also really appreciate the careful punctuation you use. The poem is almost (except for last stanza) one long sentence. You expertly use ellipses, dashes, semi-colons, and periods. Well-done.
Wow....I love your use of alliteration and assonance here, as well as the way you used the words...you tell a good story...I would love to hear this read outloud. Good job!
-Nicole
Francis -
I was quite caught up in this piece as I rolled along through the fascinating images. It unfolded surrealistically for me -- very engaging...
...rob
@Jessica Thank you for putting it together... it was tremendous fun.
@Deb Thanks so much... I actually came up with the title after the poem was finished. It seemed a good fit, although it was the final image to come to mind.
@Therese The punctuation is probably reflective of my time copy editing at small papers. I think I'd have to get someone else to read it aloud... I usually get too nervous. But I'm glad you like the sound of it, which is important to me.
@Raven I always try to build a narrative, although this was more of a challenge because of the interesting word choices. As far as the reading, see my comment to Therese above :).
@Rob Thanks! I definitely tend toward surrealism ... it's always been more interesting to me than the everyday.
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