"We all go round in circles,"
science has weighed in.
Its confusion-clear voice
lithely concluding:
Leave us to walk blindfolded
in a clueless traveling,
going far enough, we'll end
where we started.
That may not surprise,
all of us tied down so long
to this marbled mother-sphere's
endless spinning,
but if science recalibrated
to measure perhaps,
it would find our orbits
are elliptic
and, like the greater bodies,
our movements, a revolving;
pulled around by someone, or
something, we love
This poem was written in response to Read Write Prompt #89 at Read Write Poem. The "challenge" is to take a news headline as inspiration. For mine, I used the story We all go round in circles by Emma Woollacott.
23 comments:
This poem really had me in a spin. It's amazing what you can do with a prompt, Francis.
Many of the "haiku" in my diary are like that as well. (until I moved house I put them in my other blog at Writelink, but they have gone by the board like so many other things at present.)
I particularly enjoyed: "blindfolded, in a clueless traveling" and "find our orbits are elliptic."
The revolving, recalibration worked nicely for me and I am sure other readers will agree.
A wonderful way to marble-mother's sphere.
@Jakill I'm glad you liked it... another one that was a bit different for me. I hope to see your haiku make a reappearance soon.
@JemFyr Thanks... I'll be very interested to get feedback from the other prompt participants.
I like the tangle between gravity and centrifugal force that goes on through this slim poem like DNA structure.
The last stanza is a wonderful payoff!
Ahhh, how I enjoy the thought of circles being ellipsis... (is that the plural of ellipse? Please pardon me if I got that wrong!)
Nonetheless, enjoyed your words mightily!
I love this:
That may not surprise,
all of us tied down so long
to this marbled mother-sphere's
endless spinning,
Wonderful!
I love the use of circles in this. I'm a big believer that if we tackled problems in a cyclic way as well as linear, we'd learn a lot more.
You'll find mine here.
Poignant and so true...
Hello Francis,
It's true, our lives do orbit around the people and places that are important to us.
I liked how you started it..
blowing over that mug of coffee
There is so much to relish here.
Very nice write...
i really like how this line break works:
"going far enough, we'll end /
where we started."
francis an intriguing headline to draw from, as it's possibilities are rather far and wide. enjoyed the cosmic atmosphere of this poem and the stellar language throughout. -lawrence
from Therese B. at RWP -- I admire how the poem's circle imagery plays against the poem's straight-line thinking: bodies in motion against minds in motion. Nicely done! (P.S. I wrote a poem inspired by the same news report.)
Beautiful sentiment, love how you stick it to the scientists! (...and I'm glad that hyphen made its way in; I stumbled over that line when I first read it)
I think you build nicely to the last stanza. Nice work.
I was caught most by the elliptic, are we all heavenly bodies? Beautifully done.
@Peter I like the idea of a poem having DNA... we may have to explore that further :).
@Julie I think it's ellipses, but I'm not sure either :). Thanks!
@Erin I keep tripping over that "marbled-mother sphere's" when I read it... was thinking I might need to drop one of the modifiers.
@Anthony I like the idea of a combined cyclical and linear approach. And I've always like stories that follow circular journeys.
@Cynthia Those are very flattering qualifiers :)
@Derrick I know mine does...
@Gautami I always try to come up with a good beginning.
@Mark I'm very glad you enjoyed it. It's appreciated.
@Carolee I'm quite fond of that one myself :)
@Lawrence The cosmos are a bit of a preoccupation for me :)
@Therese I really enjoyed your take on the story... so different and so well written.
@Joanne A rare case of my sentimentality. I'm glad you noticed the hyphen change!
@DJ The ending really was what came to me first.
@Ted There's nothing in us that didn't come from the heavens :)
I like this. And it is so true -- we do revolve around someone/something we love. I also caught some nice sonic texture -- your alliteration in the third stanza (marbled mother-sphere's) comes to mind. Well done.
-Nicole
but if science recalibrated
to measure perhaps,
it would find our orbits
are elliptic
I like the way you transform a circle of indirection into the ellipse of an orbit. Very nice!
There is a lot of truth in this one.
nice ise of headline...a real merry go round
@Nicole Thanks so much. I try to build sonic texture, and may go overboard on the alliteration sometimes :)
@Paul I'm a firm believer that meaning only exists if we impose it...
@Nathan I'm glad you thinks so... scientists may not be so kind to my interpretation.
@Wayne A merry-go-round is a nice metaphor... should have used it :)
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