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Saturday, April 18, 2009

Footsteps, reworked

I re-worked the fragment from my last post, and I think this is how it will stay... a bit simple, but I like it.

Footsteps
By Francis Scudellari

A vision of footsteps
long ago's seeming faded
now beckoning, to-be retraced
with a trembling, unsteady finger

What if I was started tomorrow
anew by going back in time
to re-place myself then, first,
most, altar the future

6 comments:

Linda S. Socha said...

Well done and thought provoking....The images created are powerful
Linda

Unknown said...

Great poem as usual, Francis. One thing really intrigues me. I don't think 'altar' is US spelling for 'alter'. Am I right, and if so, was this deliberate?

Francis Scudellari said...

@Linda Thanks... I'm never sure if I make them too ambiguous.

@Jakill It was deliberate... a play on words. I was going for the sense of "putting the future on an altar" with the additional sounded meaning of changing it.

Book Calendar said...

But then, we are replaced every single day with a new set of atoms... Should in the last line the word be altar or alter. The grammar fiend in me is acting up.

Unknown said...

Thanks for the explanation, Francis. I thought that might be the case.

Francis Scudellari said...

@BC I like your point about renewed atoms (may use it for something else). As far as altar vs. alter... it was supposed to be a play on words but I think it may be too confusing so I'm considering changing it.

@Jakill As I said above, I may yet change it to "alter" just because the meaning right now seems too obscure.