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Friday, June 27, 2008

Belly: Chapter Two

After a much longer than expected delay, here's chapter two of my short story "Belly" (read Chapter One if you missed it). It's still very much a work in progress, so I appreciate all feed back.

Further back, and forward
By Francis Scudellari

"Where does a circle begin and end?"

"Wherever we choose to slice it ..."

"What if I place the blade randomly … here?"

"Go ahead … you'll see. We'll capture something important."

The train leaves the station and Jonah's stomach knots. A trailing memory of suggestive whispers causes Jonah to shift uneasily on the vinyl-covered cushion. Their words were spoken abruptly. The full conversation floated by in the short time it took him to find his accustomed seat.

Needing distraction, Jonah thumbs through the indexed list of songs displayed on the sleek, white device with a recall more agile than his own. A small pointer travels the recollected streams of sappy ballads and bouncy anthems. The blunt arrow settles on a track he hopes will mask the lingering echoes of those voices that slipped in uninvited on his morning train.

Jonah presses play and this time the expected words are piped through his inserted ear phones: "I was born in a cross-fire hurricane …"

Jonah drums his fingers to the catchy beat. The dull thud of his flesh against the briefcase's faux leather shell is strangely soothing. The rhythmic vibrations carry up his arm and down his leg. Before, so lulled, his once obedient thoughts would have steered him on a meandering but sure course toward slumber. Now, recently turned mutinous, these same thoughts scatter to unruly corners. Unmanned and tempest-tossed, their containing vessel is set adrift over uncharted, black depths.

After a few short verses, the calming fog of music is pushed aside, and the hallucinatory dialogue's dark-tinged drone looms again on a shortening horizon. Elusive shadows, impossible to grasp, flit across his mind's eye. Words stacked on top of words swirl in a gathering swarm that Jonah can only glimpse as a blur of rapid movement.

The hiss of stale heat pours from a vent below the seat. A drop of sweat trickles down from Jonah's left temple. It drips a crooked path across his cheek and soaks into his well-starched collar.

Jonah, cramped and ill-at-ease, loosens his red silk neck tie. Beige, geometric shapes spin hypnotically from its center. Still restless, he cracks the window. The gush of icy air gives him a moment's relief, but it can't chase away one lingering question: "What will I see and hear today?"

Jonah is certain that his brain is being hacked.

9 comments:

Jena Isle said...

Wow! I held on to my mouse with every word. More, more, more....I can't wait for the next one...You left me with mouth agape Francis...

What happens now?

Beautifully and craftily woven stream of words...

Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Excellent story Francis. I'll be looking for chapter 3.

Haven't seen you for a while at the MW Society page. If you have any concerns about it please let Mike or I know and we'll fix it ok?

Thanks my friend.
~JD

Francis Scudellari said...

@Jena Good question about what happens next ... I'm not even sure :). Thanks for the enthusiastic review.

@JD I've been by MWS a few times to check out the new authors. No concerns ... I'm just afraid I'll distract from the showcasing of such great new talent. I'm happy to contribute something whenever you're in need of content.

@Michael I'm trying to link to mostly arts/writing sites, but I'll swing by to check out your blog.

Fiendish said...

Oooh. This story does really intrigue me. It's strangely hypnotic, in that nothing much is actually happening, but beneath the surface there seems to be a lot going on. Well done. Onto part three!

Francis Scudellari said...

@Fiendish Thanks ... I'm very glad you like it and you're right on about nothing much happening on the surface. That should change in the next chapter (I hope).

Anonymous said...

This was wonderful Francis. Waiting the next installment.

Francis Scudellari said...

Thanks Cooper. I hope to have it ready within the week, but I said that after the last chapter :(.

Ken Armstrong said...

Great last line too.

Most quotable.

Francis Scudellari said...

Thanks Ken. I hope the next chapters are equally quotable :).